Friday 16 September 2016

HAPPY 41ST INDEPENDENCE TO YOU ALL…PAPUA NEW GUINEANS

by GRACELYN K. KAULGA

HAPPY Independence Anniversary to you & your Family!!!
Please celebrate in style and in the true PNG way ...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A PAPUA NEW GUINEAN WHEN
  • You can have cordial 4 breakfast.
  • You have buai and smoke for lunch.
  • You still live with your parents even though you're 30
  • U bring your boyfriend/girlfriend to the house and everyone's concluded that you are married!
  • You wear board shorts to cruz in town even though u r not going 4 a swim
  • You share one cigarette with five other people
  • Your mother gives your father 'black eyes'
  • You have about 3 families living in one house
  • Still keep drinking even though you can barely talk and walk
  • At any major function, instead of a plate, your food comes in a plastic container
  • You run into a mountain of slippers blocking the front door.
  • Your staple diet is rice and tin fish or Ox & Palm.
  • You have a huge gap between your first two toes, (excessive thong wear...)
  • Swimming pool is filled with people wearing t-shirts (Females)
  • You can sprint barefoot on sharp stones and rocks.
  • You wake up and go straight to work or classes
  • At crossings, you're supposed 2 wait 4 the car to stop b4 crossing, not the other way around.
  • Your first and last names are the same. (Vagi Vagi)
  • You have a perpetually drunkard uncle who starts fights at every family gathering
  • You call a friend - (squad)
  • Every time you greet someone he says "YOU"?
  • You have sat in a 4-seater car with up to 8 other people.
  • You can speak with your face - eg. Twitch like a rabbit to ask, Where you going?"
  • Your grandmother thinks Vicks Vapour-Rub is the miracle cure for everything (including broken bones...)
  • You're getting a hiding and your parents yell at you as to,"Why you are crying for?" ("you karai lo wanem ah ......")
  • You've been shamed and belted up by your mother in front of schoolmates at the supermarket.
  • You're a tycoon on your payday by shouting everyone and scab money off people till the next fortnight.
  • You invite people over for dinner and your family all of a sudden says the grace.
  • You've had an Afro at some stage in your life (boys AND girls) and thought you looked cool.
  • You're at your aunties and see your 6 year old cousin doing household chores.
  • Your aunty visits and she's talking to you at the same time as looking in your pots for food...
  • You think PMV bus door can hold nearly 10 people
  • You go to your village rich and come back poor.
  • If you cannot recall peoples names you call them ‘raitmen’ or ‘raitmeri’
  • You have lap laps for curtains in your house.
  • You empty your pay packet on Friday & over the weekend, by Monday you go looking for Dinau Moni (credit)
Hahahaha......Too good to be a Papua New Guinean.
GOD BLESS PAPUA NEW GUINEA.
Gracelyn K Kaulga

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